Nurses in the hospital asked me to translate my Russian poems about cancer into English. Translation didn’t quite work so here is what I’ve got in English. I am rubbish in English poetry so forgive me the style..
To shave or not to shave –
That’s not a question.
Get cancer cells –
You’ll save for pension.
Diets, calories, nutrition,
Weight-loss programmes,
Gym munition…
Stop these duhs and humps,
Forget it!
Cancer’ll get you on the mission.
Life is dear now:
Food, transport,
Schools and holidays…
Disaster!
Saving money on your meals?
Tumour offers you great deals.
You won’t want to eat at all.
Cancer here is on call.
Local pub girls keep repeating:
“No-scar men are not worth meeting”.
Wars are past deeds,
Risky may be drunken fights…
Sleepless nights
For modern knights…
No more worries.
We have answer –
Have an op for your poor cancer.
What a scar you will then get!
Many girls you’ll soon have met.
Feeling lonely or forgotten?
It’s a problem of the past.
Befriend cancer now – you must!
In a moment you’ll see doctors,
Nurses, physios, their bosses,
Dieticians and masseurs,
Nurse assistants… No more bores.
